The Difference a Year Makes

About a year ago, we brought home this little 5lb, 1oz bundle that barely fit in her car seat. And now we have a 22lb, 2.5 foot tall chunk of energy that is a few independent steps away from being a toddler. As we've been getting ready for Christmas, it has been at the back of my mind what we were doing a year ago. On December 15th, 2011, Evelyn was discharged from the NICU, had her very first car ride, and saw her home for the first time 15 days after she was born. And we were just surviving. I was terrified to put her down or leave her to shower or eat or sleep unless I knew she was being watched closely. We slept in shifts because she wouldn't sleep unless she was being held or we were terrified she would spit up in her sleep or just stop breathing. We didn't take her out of the house for anything but her check ups with her pediatrician. Feeding her was a struggle and a source of a lot of stress because she tended to spit a lot of it back up, and we wanted so desperately for her to grow. We were adding high-calorie formula to her milk. Nursing was not going well because I had to juggle it with pumping (which is the worst thing ever...I have a lot of respect for moms who exclusively pump for months and months) so she could have bottles for us to add the special formula to, she had a horrible, painful latch, and feeding her was consuming my waking hours.
I didn't leave the house with her until Tim dragged us to the grocery store in February. And then everything just clicked. We could do this. She's stronger than we give her credit for. And we can't live in a bubble forever. Mommy will lose her mind.
Now, a year later, on December 15, 2012, we took Evelyn to Hershey Park for the first time to see all the Christmas lights. She sat bundled up in her stroller, gazing up at all the lights and watching people walk by. She squealed and waved her arms at people in the cafe when we stopped for hot chocolate.
And on Sunday, we drove around for an hour and a half checking out all the houses lit up in Etown and Mount Joy. And she just sat in her car seat and watched all the lights go by.
When we're home, she's a little tornado. Toys everywhere! She's constantly trying to pull the cinnamon ornaments off the tree, so she's learning what "no" means. Feeding her is and, in some way, always was and always will be a source of stress for us (until she starts cooking her own food and/or moves out of our house, and then we'll still worry about whether or not she's eating well because we're her parents). But she's doing well with the switch to whole milk, she's growing, and she's learning new things all the time. And, oh my goodness, that smile! She smiles at EVERYONE. And that means doing our Christmas shopping takes about twice as long as it needs to because she smiles and waves at everyone we walk past in the mall.
It's amazing the difference one year makes.